First Love

"One could fall in love many times during the course of a lifetime, but the first rush of love always holds a special place in our hearts."

Theoretically first love can happen in any age or not happen at all. But most people had fallen in love for the first time when they were teenagers and me, like the others had experienced my first love when I’m in form 3. That exciting new experience most of us remember very well during all our life. For an adult, their own high school problems and the problems of their children seem very funny, silly and simple especially compared with all the difficulties of adult life. Somehow people tend to forget how tragic and full of drama life and relationships we were in our adolescence. I in my teenager age fall in love and it happen for the first time that I feel all its ups and downs for the first time either. In that age I admit that I mostly enjoy myself and study the new emotions inside and show much interest for the inner world of first boyfriend.

"Once we start to show interest to the persons of the other sex and a little later instinctively choose our first love. The relationships between two sexes will interest and trouble us during all our future life but these first steps are always the most difficult and for some of us turn to be very painful. Teenager has a growing and changing body that he/she hasn’t started to understand yet and a delicate soul which is so easy to hurt."

YES! Of course! And I can consider my first love is a tragic memory that I’ve ever gone through till now. I met my first love in the same school with me. At that time, he was my senior and having a preparation for his SPM in the end of the year while I’m in form 3. As we gone through the relationship with full of happiness throughout the year, then, its time for him to move out from the school and he had decided to continue his study in UK as he got an excellent result in his SPM. As time passed by, he seems to be a different person as he became more seldom contacting me and replying my emails till one day, he doesn't reply them at all and never contact me any more. I've tried my best to search for his presence, and tried as much as I can by sending emails to any of his email addresses. But then, there is nothing in return.

From that moment, I just considered that he had already forgotten me and maybe he already had his new girlfriend. And me?? From that moment never believe guys~ why? Err... I’m not sure bout that... But for sure I never believe in the presence of TRUE LOVE in this world. I'm develop being a girl who doesn't really believe in SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN GIRLS AND BOYS and never give any commitments in any relationship with my boyfriends (accepting them just because they proposed me and will leave them if I am not comfortable with them).

However, I’ve only found out that my first boyfriend (which I’ve told in the beginning of the story) had been died because of Leukaemia about a month he was in UK. The real purpose for him to go to UK is not for continuing his study but to seek for treatment there as the cancer had reached the critical phase. When I heard this from his sister, I felt like I’m the only one that does not know anything bout that. And what makes me more disappointed is that, I only knew bout this in 4 years later!! How on Earth?? How could it be like this? I lost the one I loved much and I don't even know bout it? Err... for sure, I don't know why do this incident happened in my life... and I’m regret cause not being able to say even the words "GOODBYE" or "THANKS FOR EVERYTHING" to him. May the light of God enlighten him and may he be blessed.

Anyhow, live as much as you can and now, I’m happy with my new boyfriend even though he too suffering for ITP which I’ve been shared in my previous post entitles "ITP and LOVE".